Nonviolent Communication

Do you want to resolve conflicts - with yourself and others - in ways that honor your deepest needs? Do you want solutions that work for you and also meet the needs of others? Nonviolent Communication is about how to make that happen. It's about creating the kind of relationship that helps to meet, or at least honor, everyone's needs. It doesn't always get us what we want, but it greatly increases the chances of truly satisfying our underlying needs.

I have found nonviolent communication to be extremely helpful in clearer and more accurate expression. Additionally, the use of nonviolent communication bypasses many of the standard miscommunications and perceived offenses of standard conversation, facilitating information flow without argument. Interestingly, the use of nonviolent communication may also make the speaker appear more charismatic and persuasive.

Most of us have been taught to communicate passively, critically, or manipulatively––and that’s so normal to us that we don’t even realize we’re doing it. That is, until we find ourselves feeling powerless to get our needs met, repeating the same conflicts with those we love, and feeling alone or trapped in our relationships. The nonviolent framework provides a systematic approach by teaching us to be present to our own needs, feelings, and requests without blaming others or internalizing shame.

NVC is the practice of making an observation, expressing a feeling, then a need and making a request. Using NVC takes the charge out of communication which can be so painful and threatening to the survival of the relationship. It allows people to take ownership of their experience and not direct their feelings towards others, which usually only escalates conflict and leads to breakdowns. Utilizing NVC makes hearing one another much easier by staying calm & cool.

Specific training in this area.

NVC is the practice of making an observation, expressing a feeling, then a need and making a request. Using NVC takes the charge out of communication which can be so painful and threatening to the survival of the relationship. It allows people to take ownership of their experience and not direct their feelings towards others, which usually only escalates conflict and leads to breakdowns. Utilizing NVC makes hearing one another much easier by staying calm & cool.

Therapy is all about relationships and communication: relationships with ourselves, with our partners, attachment figures, with our communities, with our environments. And communication is the primary way we interact with all of those entities. Nonviolent communication is a specific and mindful way of speaking that requires emotional identification and vocabulary, self regulation, attunement, and trust. Ultimately, it's a method of communication that will improve all of your relationships.

NVC is more than a communication tool, it is a lens through which we can see ourselves and others. I have done multiple trainings in NVC over the past several years which has led me to feel comfortable integrating it into therapy sessions with both individuals and couples. I disagree with the idea that NVC is a script to follow, and rather view it as practice for creating more understanding, compassion, and choice in our lives.

It can be difficult to explore our inner world when we lack the words and structure necessary to communicate them effectively. For years I have incorporated Nonviolent Communication perspectives of human feelings and needs in order to empower clients to request from others what they need out of their relationships. I developed my approach through training with practitioners and Nonviolent Communication trainers as a part of my graduate studies.

Understanding the difference between healthy and unhealthy communication coupled with an understanding of domestic violence influences my expertise in this area. I've worked with clients individually as well as in a group setting to teach skills pertaining to good vs bad communication, conflict resolution, communication styles, boundaries and a host of other topics that influence the exchange of communication.

The work of Marshall Rosenbaum has been instrumental in forming my practice. The strategies outlined by this practice are useful in working with families and couples. NVC helps people own their own emotions, not those of others.

I've completed multiple year-long trainings in NVC. I love helping people explore this modality and learn to integrate it into their lives.

I believe the way we communicate is very important. The words we choose and how we say them NVC is a way to express our needs and ask for what we want without blaming or accusing the other person. Learning to express our needs in a way that others can hear and receive and maybe even understand and acknowledge their own needs can make relationships flow much better.

NVC is foundational to the work I do with clients. I encourage my clients to communicate with themselves and with others from a place of empathy, understanding and openness/flexibility, all while asserting and holding personal boundaries.