Codependency

Codependency is a learned pattern of behavior that starts in childhood but often becomes no longer helpful or even harmful in adulthood. Common codependent behaviors include denying one's thoughts or feelings; giving too much of one's time, energy, or money; being too identified as a caretaker or giver in relationships, and a culminating exhaustion and fatigue. I can work with you to address each of these life-restricting symptoms and learn how to get your life back.

Codependency is often tied to the relationships that we have with addicts in our lives. Codependency is often defined as behaviors that enable behaviors we wish to see the end of but it often comes from a place of love, care and concern for others. The problem is that love, care and concern can result in giving too much to others. My goal in helping clients who struggle with codependency is to help them establish healthy boundaries so they can be supportive without overwhelming themselves.

The way that I engage with people around codependency, which is a confusing term, is that it leads us to want to control other people's emotions so that in turn, we feel better (i.e. I don't want him/her/them to be mad, so I won't say anything). Putting others' emotions and needs ahead of our own is something that is also sanctioned by society. Working on codependency doesn't mean that we start offending others either. It's a gentle journey into boundary setting and communication.

It's hard to fault someone for being compassionate, caring or kind. Too often, other prey or take advantage our kindness and giving spirit. Inadvertently, we give away our power and then find life sometimes hopeless. Learn how to regain your sense of self- respect, security and independence. I utilize CBT therapy to rewire our brain changing our thoughts. Changing our thoughts changes how we think and feel best altering our actions.

I am trained in and utilize Pia Mellody's "Developmental Immaturity" model of codependency treatment, known as Post Induction Therapy. https://www.themeadows.com/workshops/post-induction-therapy-pit/

Conflict most frequently surfaces when one partner begins to define their identity outside of the relationship which is a necessary and healthy transition. However, this can feel threatening when codependency is a prominent element in the relationship. I work with couples to develop strategies to increase their sense of safety within the relationship and empower them to further develop their autonomy and sense of self within the relationship.

Co-dependency is so absolutely destructive in our lives. In my 20+ years of my own co-dependency recovery and helping others navigate through co-dependence, I am confident that understanding the roots of your codependency, how it impacts your relationships on a daily basis and finding recovery, might be the most impactful work that you can do as an adult.

I am Meadows Model and PIT trained in co-dependency and co-dependency recovery. I worked in a Meadows facility for nearly two years were I provided ongoing codependency treatment to individuals living with trauma and addiction.

Hiding Parts of Who You Are Over-Commitment to Basically Anything Not Feeling Good Enough or Capable Enough People-Pleasing Behaviors Comparing Anything/Everything & “Falling Short” Perfectionist Expectations Inflexible Thinking (Either/Or Thinking) Struggling to Identify How You Feel “Taking On” the Emotional Experiences of Others as Your Own

Living with codependency can feel like you’re constantly putting others' needs above your own, leaving you drained and disconnected from your true self. But it’s possible to break free from this cycle. In our sessions, we’ll work together to establish healthy boundaries, build self-worth, and empower you to reclaim your independence. Imagine a life where your happiness isn’t tied to others' approval but comes from a place of inner strength and self-respect. I’m here to guide you on this journey.

Codependence is not the opposite of independence. It is the chronic neglect of oneself for the sake of others. People pleasing, difficulty with saying no, feeling responsible for other's emotions, and difficulty with asking for help are all examples of codependent tendencies. Overtime, these tendencies can build towards resentment and create a negative impact on our wellbeing.

You find yourself stuck in a pattern of people pleasing. You're a good listener, someone others go to vent to. While that is a part of your relational strength, you're also intimidated by conflicts and exposed differences between you and your partner and friends. You put great effort into mirroring and reading the room to alleviate tension with others and within yourself. You'd love to embrace your authentic self and know that ruptures in your relationships don't have to be an ultimatum.

YOUR FEELINGS MATTER. Your feelings point to your needs. You are not responsible for the feelings of others. Your natural care for others may be more fun when you are free from the impossible responsibility of managing their feelings. YOUR NEEDS MATTER. Let's take a fresh look at any obstacles to honoring your needs. Let's help you clarify your needs. Let's help you speak up for yourself in ways that work for you and also honor the needs of others.

It's hard to fault someone for being compassionate, caring or kind. Too often, other prey or take advantage our kindness and giving spirit. Inadvertently, we give away our power and then find life sometimes hopeless. Learn how to regain your sense of self- respect, security and independence. I utilize CBT therapy to rewire our brain changing our thoughts. Changing our thoughts changes how we feel, thus altering our actions. Using DBT, mindfulness practices and gaining self-confidence help us to

Many people grow up in a chaotic home environment where healthy boundaries did not exist and where you were forced to be hypervigilant in order to keep the peace, maintain harmony, or appease a violent or unpredictable authority figure. As a result you struggle with maintaining your boundaries as an adult. Perhaps you constantly put others' needs before your own, are stretched too thin and become resentful, and you don't know where you end and others begin. I can help.

It is my belief that boundaries are an act of care, compassion, and kindness for our relationships, but that does not mean they are easy. I work with clients to determine and communicate the boundaries they need in their relationships in order for their relationships to become healthier.